Monday, January 17, 2011

I have a lot of catching up to do on here! March 23, 2010 I delivered a healthy happy baby Lucas. The pregnancy itself was a healthy one but my own health was slightly challenged. It was challenged due to the need to come off my meds, and since I have decided to nurse my sweet Lucas for the first year I have had to stay off of most of my meds. But every time I look into that chubby face of his I know that whatever pain and discomforts I choose to endure are completely worth it because I am giving him the best shot at a healthy life and the bonding moments we share from the private nursing time will last our lifetime!

Life with a baby is chaotic for the healthy bodied! Living an RSD life with a baby is exhausting! Babies don't understand "Oh don't touch Mommy's bad leg!" or "Sorry baby Mommy can't sit on the floor and play with you today." You just have to suck it up and give your baby the best you can give. And with a baby who is crawling everywhere or wanting to walk holding on to your fingers you don't have the choice to sit on the couch and mope. This may sound harsh and insensitive but I choose to bring a new life into this world so I do not have the luxary of dwelling on my pains. I do still need to take care of myself and if I am having a bad day then the reality of the situation is I cannot do as much with the baby as he may like. I just no longer have the option of resting on the couch for two hours with a heating pad warming my leg while I drink hot tea and listen to the crackling of the fireplace to help calm myself to handle the pain. Instead I get to watch Sesame Street and listen to the giggles of my baby as Elmo's world comes on and hope he doesn't touch my bad leg as I hide it under a blanket.

Gabriel has been a bigger help than we ever dreamed. He is an awesome child who has empathy beyond his years. He is a blessing on us. This past year has been challenging for him as well. He had his greatest wish fullfilled with having a baby brother born but learning to live with a new family member has been difficult at times. I think the hardest lesson was that Mommy couldn't give him her full attention any more. No matter how hard the reality of a baby brother was for him he simply adores Lucas. Gabriel has changed one diaper and given Lucas a bottle. Gabe takes joy in all of Lucas' firsts and insists that Lucas' first word was Brother or as Lucas says it 'a bra bra'!

I have decided that I need to continue to "blog" about Life with RSD. In a world where I sometimes cannot find time to shower or need to eat a meal in less than 5 minutes because of the baby I also need to juggle RSD into the mix. Too often we can get caught up into the emotion of the moment and loose sight of the bigger picture. It is going to be a challenge and a goal to write about my life with RSD at least once a week...but that is what I am shooting for. Wish me luck!