If you know me then you know I am not a whiner nor do I sit and complain about how hard life is with RSD. So then why do I blog about it? Why do I spend so much time writing about it and promoting awareness about something I don't complain about? I think there is a delicate line between advocating awareness and complaining about living life with pain. I have lived so much of my life trying to hide my pain from everyone but I realized that I was doing more harm than good. My purpose of hiding my pain was to live my own life without the pain defining me but my logic was faulty. No matter what, RSD does define my life. I have learned how to balance my life with RSD. I have worked through the grief and self education on what it means to have RSD for the rest of my life. I have this knowledge so I must share it with the hopes that if I could help just one person then my pain has purpose. You know that cliche' 'Turn lemons into lemonaid' wll, when you have debilitating pain you can advocate for a better understanding of life. Sitting on the couch or laying in bed gives you a lot of time to become introspective about life. You also learn what is worth fighting for and what should just be ignored till it fades into the background.
I have mastered how to live my life with pain. So imagine my surprise when I had to field the curve ball of Lucas having a speech disorder. Then just as I am recovering from my 7th SCS surgery I learn that Gabriel has a Learning Disability, maybe multiple learning disabilities of Dyscalculia and Dysgraphia. I have had to learn how to apply what I have learned about my own life towards learning about Lucas' speech problem and Gabriel's learning disabilities. Keeping the complications of life in the shadow's is no longer a smart option. It is time to step out and start sharing my life and all the complications that come with it. Not to look for pity but to educate and promote awareness. I do not believe that I live my life in an extraordinary way. I refuse to be steamrolled by anything that is thrown at me. I am not a survivor, I am a fighter. I believe in taking control of the situation and fighting for a favorable outcome. I will not simply survive but fight for the win. My children deserve the best I can give them and I will not let my pain get in the way.
I don't believe I do anything extraordinary. Sharing my life, imparting my view, and recording the process of figuring out how to best help my children. That is why I blog.
* Note: I wouldn't be able to do any of this if I didn't have Leo to lean on. He is my rock.
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