May 10 2013 was Gabriel's 10th birthday. Lucas also had his class Parent's Day the same day. That meant I had to push myself harder to give my boys a memorable day. I woke up 2 hours early to make cupcakes for Gabe to take to school. After the boys were out of the house it was time to decorate, shop for the special birthday dinner of homemade pizza's, clean up the kitchen, pick Gabe up from school early for a special Friendly's lunch, head out to Lucas' school for the Parent's Day activities, come home and make my homemade dough for the pizza's. I pushed myself and was rewarded with smiles all around. My parents had come early in the morning so Mom could celebrate with Gabe before she had to be at work and they gave me their extra hands. Leo helped. Leo picked his Mom up and on his way back to the house he picked up the Icecream Cake. Lorena came over to celebrate Gabe's birthday dinner. My Dad slept over and we had Gabriel's best friend come and spend the night.
Saturday morning I woke up and moved a little slower. My dad had a cup of hot dunkin donuts coffee waiting for me. Then I made the kids pancakes and bacon for breakfast before Gabe's Tae Kwon Do class. I was exhausted. We had leftover pizza and I believe I went to bed around 3:30 till 8pm, woke up for an hour or so and went back to sleep for the rest of the night.
Sunday was a beautiful Mother's Day. Lucas woke me up at 6:30am but he let me lay in bed while he watched cartoons next to me. When Leo came home from work that morning he had Gabe deliver my roses. He then went back out to Dunkin Donuts to get breakfast. I was then treated to a hot bath before we had to begin another day of racing around. First up was brunch at 11am with Leo's family at this beautiful resteraunt on Lake Hopatcong called Pavinci's. We had a great time with the family, good food, and Lucas loved looking at all the boats pulled up at the docks. Lucas had insisted on many walks outside to look at the boats. From there we took a 'scenic route' (wrong way) to my parents house but could not resist a stop for ice cream at Cliff's in Ledgewood. When we finally made it to my parents house I enjoyed the few minutes of sitting on the couch doing nothing! After about a half hour we called up the Olive Garden (Mom's choice) to see how long the wait was. Too long for us so we began debating where else to go. Then Leo offered up a choice we all knew my Mom would jump at, Iberia Resteraunt in Newark NJ. They serve an awesome Rodizio and Sangria! It is a long drive but this is a meal you splurge on only once a year so it was worth it to make my Mom happy on Mothers Day! When we finally came home on Sunday Leo sent me straight to bed. I needed it. While at Iberia my pain began to flair. I know I pushed myself beyond my personal limits. I also wanted to feel good about how I looked so I wore heels for the day. During the day I had the normal "MOM" moment's and ran for Lucas' (despite my heels) when he announced he had to go potty at brunch and again when we were leaving my parents house and a beloved toy was left inside the upstairs bathroom. I walked a lot on Sunday wearing those heels. I looked good and I liked how I looked. Still, those heels were a bad idea considering the chao's of the day.
Then yesterday May 14 2013 was Leo's birthday. Nothing special planned this year (thank goodness considering my leg) because Gabriel has his NJASK testing this week. Instead I had Lucas stay home so we could spend some extra time with Leo. We went with him to get his hair cut and Lucas sat in the chair for a pretend haircut. We then went to the store so Leo could pick out his birthday presents, NY Rangers hat and flag. We took him out to lunch and on our way home we picked Gabe up early from school. We had about an hour at home to rest before heading out again to Leo's Mom's for his birthday dinner. It was a pleseantly quiet birthday, just the way Leo likes it with the exception that we usually go to the Zoo for his birthday.
So I am paying the price. Was it worth it? In my opinion, "Heck yeah!" You only have so many special moments in life and I will always have RSD so I cannot wrap myself in a bubble and protect myself at all times. I will protect myself when I make the decision that the pain is not worth the price of admission.
Now however I am still resting because I have Gabriel's Birthday Party this weekend. I also have my nephews First Holy Communion the following morning. I need to be able to walk a lot on Saturday and I will not be able to use the following day for rest and recovery. That means this week I am doing the minimal housework to get us by and relying heavly on Leo's help with the kids. Leo will come home in the morning to put Lucas on the bus and tries to be here when Lucas gets off the bus. He helps me with the groceries and keeping up with the daily living room mess the boys make. He is also helping with Lucas at night time so I can be in bed resting. He does all of this for me while still working both of his jobs. God Bless him!
This is one example of life with RSD. I hate that the flair happend during my Mother's Day dinner with my Mom. I knew I was pushing myself but I can never predict exactly when or why a flair will start. My Mom was upset because well, she is a Mom and doesn't want her daughter to live her life like this. I reminded her how busy I have been lately and that I did wear heels knowing I would have to chase after Lucas. I know my stress level plays into it, while I did have a great weekend celebrating Gabe's Birthday, Mother's Day and then Leo's Birthday I also received that letter regarding my recharger for my SCS. I have also been dealing with stress regarding Gabriel's school issues. The warmer weather of last week helped me feel good enough to push myself all week with cleaning the house. Everything adds up and equals a flair.
Does that mean I shouldn't push myself? I should never wear heels even if I am feeling good at that moment? If I wrapped myself in a bubble could I avoid the pain? None of these questions have a perfect answer because I also have to consider what type of life I want to live. I just have to ask myself before I do anything "Is this worth a flair?" If I am able to become pain free by Saturday then push myself to make sure Gabe has a great time at his party, be present for my nephews First Holy Communion and then backslide into a flair, then I will answer "Yes, it was worth it."
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