Monday, September 29, 2014

RSD BRAIN

A common joke in our house is my forgetfulness.  Mommyitis!  Gabe has even begun to detect it and poke fun at me when I goof up my sentences.  It goes beyond the basic where did I leave the keys or sunglasses.  Most people have the silly moments where they call their child by the wrong name.  Imagine that amplified!   I have learned to laugh at myself because life would not be fun if I just cried every time I said the wrong word in a conversation or forgot where I put something.  I have also learned how to cope with it to help prevent or at least quickly recover when these moments happen.

As funny as it may be it can still be awkward when I am in a conversation with someone (someone outside of my family) and I either forget what I wanted to say or the wrong words come instead.  So, I censor myself and I talk more slowly, deliberately making sure I think it all through before it comes out of my mouth.  This past week I had a conversation with my sister and when I froze mid-sentence, unable to remember the word I wanted to use she was able to say it for me, commenting that she just needed to be my "Hero".  Thank you sissy!  It was that moment combined with me loading up my blog that gave me the inspiration for this blog.  The last few days I have mentally cataloged different idea's to blog about but as I loaded the site every single idea escaped my mind.  No, this was not a case of writers block this was a case of RSD Brain.

What is RSD Brain?  Our bodies are under so much stress from pain levels that our brains simply cannot keep up. To make matters more complicated we are also on medications that can effect how we think.
Every one knows that if you don't get enough sleep you cannot think straight.  If you are sick or injured your not able to function at full capacity.  When you are on heavy medications that affect the nervous system and reduce pain then you brain is dulled.  Combine all of that and you can have a perpetual foggy brain.  That is just one of the many gifts of RSD that keeps on giving.

How do I cope?  I set alarms on my phone and calendar reminders for many mundane things.  I know many people use notepads but this just doesn't work for me, too often I will forget by the time I realize I need to write something down.  My other mommyitis issue is misplacing items.  I once put the ice pack for the kids lunch boxes in the cabinet and the sandwich container into the freezer, okay I have done this a few times.  Yes, my phone is often misplaced.  Usually this happens on days when I am doing many things: talking on the phone while doing laundry then I end the conversation and walk away to do other household chores and two hours later I cannot find my phone.  I have many anecdotes to help you understand how the brain fog works but if you don't live through it then you will never understand how it can mess you up.  The only thing I can ask is for your patience, humor and to know when to pretend that nothing is different.

It is a Really Stupid Disease (RSD) but it is one that I am stuck with so all I can do is live my life despite it.  I am not simply surviving I am a Warrior fighting back with strategy and humor.      

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