Robo Mom!

Leo gave me the nickname Robo Mom a long time ago.  It is our attempt at laughing off the seriousness that faces us each day.  Robo Mom, Batteries Included, we just need to laugh it off.  Who wants to constantly think about how important that picture above is?  The picture above is my back from 2012, my old SCS system.  The tiny dashes along the spinal cord are the electrodes and the big thing by the hip is my battery.  This x ray was taken before my last two surgeries back in March of 2012.  It shows that the electrodes were slightly, like a hairs width, off center and the cord was slightly bent.  What did that mean? It meant my electrodes were not stimulating my nervous system, instead they were stimulating my back muscles.  Imagine putting your finger in the electric socket and that is what my back felt like.  It all happened in one swift moment that had me clinging to the dinning room table with tears running down my face as I was incapable of moving to turn the damned thing off.  What does Robo Mom mean? It means I need this piece of electronics to work correctly so I can take care of my family.

Robo Mom.  Yes it is a joke to break the severity of my situation.  I have never really been hard core with telling people about my RSD, yes I write in this blog but my awareness campaigns are actually soft compared to how hard this disease really is to live with.  Two years ago when the SCS stopped working correctly it felt like our world fell apart.  Robo Mom couldn't operate at her normal speeds.  I became more like "couch mom" or "in bed all day Mom".  It was rough on everyone.  My pain was so bad that I could barely wear pants because of the pain and my leg swelled to twice it's size while being red yet freezing cold.  I was doing my best to hold it all together while taking care of a toddler that had a speech disorder.  My oldest sort of fell through the cracks, we are ashamed to say.  He was at an age of independence and we expected more from him.  Long story short the emotional weight was too much for him and his school work took the hit.  Then last year he was identified as having a learning disability.  It was a tough time to get through.

Honestly it feels like the last two years have been beyond difficult.  These two years have felt more like a lifetime but some how we are still standing.   As a family we are tighter than ever.  Robo Mom is back on track.  I will always have RSD, that is a fact of my life.  I will have bad days, weeks even months yet I will always keeping moving forward.  I need to take precautions to make sure my SCS does not get broken again which is another fact.  There are a lot of things my RSD can take away from or make harder for me. Still, I am a powerhouse of a Mother, that is a fact!  My children have special needs that do not wait for Mommy's pain to get better.  I have to be strong even when my pain is overwhelming.  Some things can slide by in life, like dishes and laundry but my children deserve a Mom that is there to advocate for them.

I have many people in my life that do not really know what I live with.  That is my fault as I do not broadcast "Hey I have a physical disability!" when I meet people.  Many years ago I did work at hiding my disability.  People are not always supportive when they hear about it.  Since I have started writing my blog I have noticed that more people are affected when they are able to see the facts.  Mostly I blog to help spread awareness and to help others in their early years of RSD feel less alone in their diagnosis.  Still, you cannot dispute the severity of this picture.  Who would want this in their back, next to their spinal cord?  Who would be okay with a surgeon removing bone from the spinal cord just so this device can be fit into it?  How many people would welcome a battery that is implanted in a pocket of tissue at their hip?  Honestly you would have to be in severe pain to consider a surgery like this.  Then to have it done repeatedly as it breaks and causes pain!  At the same time you are a Mom.  All due respect to Dad's but Mom's have more responsibility with their child's day to day life.  Add to it I am a Mom with a child who has special needs and a child who during this process was identified as having a learning disability.  These are children and as children their lives revolve around Mommy.  If Mommy is not well then the children are affected.  Mom then has to make sure her children are protected.  Yes, that is a lot of weight!  Robo Mom can handle it all!!!  I believe most Mom's can do what I do they just never have been tested yet.  I do not like to think I really do anything spectacular.  Yes I have the SCS in my body but at my core I am just a Mom.  I am just a Mom who advocates for the best her children deserve from herself and others.  Sometimes some people need to see the hard core truth like the picture above to soak in the reality.  It is nothing extraordinary because it is my ordinary life.

And it continues

Well, it has been exactly one week since my latest flare up began.  I don't know why but this one has really kicked my a**.  I am blessed that Leo has let me spend so much time in bed while he takes care of the kids.  We have eaten take out all week but tonight Leo is treating us to a home cooked meal, one of the only things he makes Steaks on the grill!  Yes, it is freezing outside with 18 degrees and with the wind chill making it feel like 9 degrees.  He might be crazy but he is a man in love with his wife.  Thank you God!  Steak is not my favorite meal but it is so much better than pizza.  I am really a lucky woman because this steak dinner includes pink roses.
I told Leo that I miss cooking, I was planning on making a chili because it is comforting, cozy and super easy considering I can sit down through most of it!  He wants me to just relax a bit longer.  Leo said I can get back into the kitchen on Monday.  Honestly, me leg is killing me but I might not last till Monday, I want to get back behind my stove asap.

As a Mother it is hard spending so much time in bed away from my children.  I am blessed that they find it equally as hard so they tend to come in and cuddle me or tell me stories or simply to give me some love.  Lucas is finally getting the hint that Mommy has a booboo leg.  Gabe still gets worried if I spend too much time in bed but we have learned to cut the tension so he doesn't put too much thought into it.  If I am going to be 100% honest I think my flares are hardest on Leo because he simply misses the woman he married.  I know that when a big flare hits I am not myself, who could be when they are in that much pain?  Leo picks up the slack around the house and still keeps up with his job.  He takes care of me, staying strong for me so I can take the time I need till my flare subsides and I can get back to our normal life.  Leo is an amazing man.
I slept a lot this week and when I wasn't sleeping I was laying down resting.  Being in pain wipes out all of my energies.  Today was the first day I felt somewhat human and so I took advantage.  Even though it is freezing cold outside I went out to Lucas' school to sit in on his Speech Therapy session.  I had some questions but mostly I just enjoy participating.  I love to hear how his SLP is able to get him to produce a clear T sound.  His SLP and I don't care that it is only made during the isolation of the speech room at this time, the fact is that he is learning to use it so eventually he will be able to make the sound in conversational speech.  I paid a small price for going out this afternoon but considering the reward of hearing Lucas clearly say "Hat, Mat, Cat" was worth it!

So our steak dinner has taken a turn from being cooked outside to inside on the cast iron skillets.  Why?  The gas grill's line is frozen and will not ignite.  Now the house is filled with the aroma of steaks.  Leo built a fire to help keep me warm and I am being entertained by the boys.  Yes I am in pain but life really doesn't get much better than this.  I am filled with their love and support.  Life isn't always this easy but if it was then I wouldn't be able to enjoy this night so much.  I might wish I was the one in the kitchen cooking but it is a treat to have a home cooked meal prepared for me.  I am a lucky woman even though my pain continues.

And then it happens

Yesterday I hit an exhaustion slump just before 3pm.  I tried to convince Lucas to lay down with me and take a nap. Nope, he wasn't tired he wanted to play.   I reached a compromise.  Let Mommy lay down on the couch to rest while you watch tv and play, just don't leave this room.  When Gabe came home he stayed downstairs to help keep an eye on Lucas.  Mommy's have this incredible super power that they can close their eyes, rest, and still talk with their kids!  When Leo came home from work he sent me to bed.  Thank you!  I woke up around 5:30 and went downstairs to start making dinner.  I was hungry for my Mom's Country Fried Steaks with Mashed Potatoes and I chose peas as the veggie because believe it or not the boys like their peas!  I love making country fried steaks because I get to pound the hell out of them, taking out any stressful frustrations or just getting a fun workout.  As you know I simply love being in my kitchen and cooking, I have control in this small space of my life.  I put on my country music radio station and I dance a little while cooking.

Dinner was ready and I started serving plates, cutting up the kids food first.  We were having a tv dinner since it was Friday night and wanted to watch a family movie.  In the living room we have a small kiddie table.  I tell the boys that dinner is ready and they should get their drinks.  I bring Lucas' plate in first and walk back to the kitchen to prepare Gabe's plate.  I shout out the last warning that dinner is ready and take out Gabe's plate.  As I begin to walk back to the kitchen I feel it.  My leg is beginning to hurt.  I don't even make it back to the kitchen.  I tell Leo and he states the obvious, turn on the stimulator.  Now I am thinking that I had hit that exhaustion slump because the flair was already beginning to creep it's way into my leg.  Damn!

Now it is morning.  Leo let me sleep in and he brought me my coffee.  He even had the kids keep quiet to let me sleep.  I tell you he is wonderful.  Leo has to work today.  My leg is still flaring and now I have a day with the kids and a kitchen to clean.  Honestly, I have to dig deep for the energy to do it all.  I don't have the luxury today to play couch potato today.  This flair also messes with our plans for today and possibly the whole weekend.  I have a confession to make.  We have not yet finished putting away our Christmas decorations.  Today was supposed to be the day to get it done.  This weekend also happens to be a 3 day weekend for the boys so we were thinking about taking them to see a movie, do a little family bonding time.  The catch though was that they had to help clean up the house.  If I can't move around much then we cannot do much.  Depending on my energy level after cleaning the kitchen I might be able to just power through and do some family activities or I might have spent all the energy I could muster.

I think tonight is going to be a take out type of night.  It is snowing and Leo is out there working.  My leg is hurting and I have to clean the kitchen.  We don't have enough left overs to just eat from the fridge and I do not see myself being able to cook tonight.  My leg hurting has a tendency to mess with all our plans, even the simple day to day stuff.

Grocery Shopping my way and a budget friendly meal

My husband is almost useless in the kitchen.  Last year when I was at my parents house because my Dad was once again hospitalized Leo was home with the kids.  My friends went from bug eyed to hysterical laughter as I talked my husband through the process of making Kraft Macaroni and Cheese from the blue box, yes I even had to tell him which pot to use.  I am blessed that my husband can and will do so much for me but the kitchen is and always will be my domain.  If I run out of a few items I can send him to the grocery store but it must be a detailed list.  He is also the typical husband who will come home with a bag full of junk food.  He is accepts my flaw that I will not mate socks and I accept his flaw that he is not good in the kitchen.  Okay, he can make one good meal Steak Milanesa with yellow rice.  Yum!

When it comes to groceries I am the only one able to do it.  I cannot walk around the supermarket, reaching up high or bending over to pick up the bag of sugar.  I just can not handle that activity level and then come home to put everything away.  What do I do?  I shop on line!  Our Shoprite let's me shop on line and then they have employees walk around the store picking up the items I ordered, they bag it and then my husband picks it up for me.  If my husband doesn't have the time to pick up the groceries then I could have them deliver it for me!  Shopping on a budget is even easier because I can take a whole week to price compare and get the most bang for my buck!  My energy level is managed so the only physical action is putting the groceries away.  Sometimes the kids will help me put away groceries if I am in a flare.  In return I make them Paper Bag Robots!  I am a control freak in my kitchen so I don't accept much help but when I am in need I accept the fact that things are not put where I like them to be and then will need to move stuff around to make it work.  Hey, life with pain does not mean you are a beggar!

If you read my New Year Resolutions blog then you know I am going to try cooking more Gourmet style food.  I am finding this a challenge with my budget.  I just can not afford to pay $10 or more per pound of meat, I am more into the $3 or $4 per pound of meat!  I will find a way to meet my resolutions even if I have to figure out a way to stretch the budget.  I am already coming up with a few idea's on how to make it work but I am open to suggestions!

This week I made something that Leo and I loved!  Potato Bisque soup.  So delishious and tasty and comforting.  I cannot believe I have never done this before!  Potatoes, leeks, garlic, parsnips, celery, extra sharp cheddar, homemade chicken stock, half & half, and then salt, pepper and a touch of curry to taste.  I used my submersion blender to make it thick and creamy.  I made this one night that we were doing leftovers with the kids.  The soup is hearty so by the time I was done and using my finger to like the rest out of the bowl I had to tell myself to not get more, I really was full!  My husband felt the same way! It was so cute when he looked at me and said "I ate it all, I am done."  I asked him if he wanted more and he was about to say yes and felt guilty so instead he said "Maybe later".   I think the only thing that could make this soup better is BACON.  I can just see it.  I start off by rendering the fat from the bacon, remove the bacon and add the veggies to saute adding in just enough butter and olive oil to get the tons of veggies softened.  From there I would build the soup the same way and then when I serve it up I would crumble some bacon on top.  Okay, it is too early for lunch but now I am salivating for this soup!  You could make a big pot of this soup for $20 and that includes your bacon!  The money saver and major flavor profile comes from your homemade stock.  You know I roasted a chicken a few times a month.  From at least one of those roastings I will make my stock to use in different meals throughout the month.  Unfortunately I did not write down my measurements so I cannot tell you exactly how much to use of some of these ingredients.  I can tell you I used a lot of potatoes because I really wanted them to stand out but I also used a lot of garlic because it really is the best flavor in the world.  I used two leeks and two parsnips and one stalk of celery.  After I had the soup creamed I slowly added in two cups of the cheese, tasting as I went looking for the creamy sharp flavor.  I used a lot of stock, I think more than 4 cups and I used at least two cups of half & half.  I promise the next time I make this I will pay attention to the recipe!

If I were buying these ingredients for the soup this week I would be buying.  Some of these items can be used towards other meals making this a really good budget friendly meal.
Oscar Mayer Bacon 8ozs = $3.99
Cabot Seriously Sharp White Cheddar Bar 8ozs = $1.99
Shop Rite brand Half & Half 32ozs = $2.29
Celery (only need one stalk but now I have it for other meals!) = $1.79
Garlic head (honestly I might have used nearly half the head) = $.22
2 Leeks = $5.98
2 Parsnips = $.75
5lb bag of Russet Potatoes = $2.99
Subtotal = $19.99 And this makes a big pot!

This soup is one of the ways I am thinking of saving my budget to help me afford the more expensive cuts of meats.  I am thinking of rounding out my week with Soups, Stews and Casseroles with my typical roasted meat meal and then I can splurge on the higher end deals.  If you have a great low budget meal idea for me or a take on a higher end dish please let me hear about it!  If you try my soup I would love to hear how it worked out for you!

I

a personal review of the show 'The Taste' - My Life on a Plate

I did not watch the first season of The Taste.  Last week I decided to watch season 2 for a few reasons.  I love cooking shows and competitions.  I really admire the chefs.  I am pushing myself to a higher level of cooking so I am going to watch and then do the challenges later that week or I might need to wait till the next grocery trip to buy my ingredients.  I hope that watching these chefs will help me elevate my own cooking abilities.  So many of these competitions showcase how these competitors are self taught home cooks.  That is me!  I watch the cooking shows, I read the cookbooks and I research on the internet different recipes.  I learn tips, tricks and how to balance flavors.  Stroking my own ego I know I have a talent in the kitchen but since I am a self taught home cook I still have a long way to go.  So far my cooking repertoire is based on family style meals or easy quick food.  I hope that in the next year or two I will feel confident enough to begin entering cooking competitions.

The first group cooking challenge in season 2 is "My Life on a Plate".  Nigella's group is making Chicken Soup, Ludo's group is making Roasted Meat and Vegetable, Marcus' group is doing a Multicultural Mashup, and Anthony's group is making Soup.  Nigella's group went with Jay's dish of Chicken soup with coconut milk. Marcus chose Shehu's dish of Coconut curry broth with halibut and mussels.  Ludo's group chose Jeff's dish of Ramen soup with roasted pork loin.  Anthony's group chose Shellie's dish of Ginger soup with chicken noodles.  Edward Lee was the guest judge and mentor.  Edward Lee picked Ludo's kitchen of Jeff's Ramen soup.  He awarded the second best bite to Marcus' kitchen.  The worst taste was Nigella's kitchen.  

With Nigella's kitchen being chosen as the worst she had to choose someone to eliminate from her group.  My personal picks, the worst in her kitchen is Reina and the best is Jay.  What I didn't like about Reina is her aggressive and disrespectful attitude towards an accomplished chef as Nigella is.  Nigella tried to guide Reina but she was stubborn and thought herself superior to Nigella's advice.  As bad as Reina was what I really didn't like is that Nigella's group was not acting as a team. I know Nigella asked them for their opinions as to who to let go so of course they threw Jacquelyn under the bus for her oily soup.  It is a competition and what they were actually doing was naming who they thought was their competition, Jacquelyn isn't bad but I felt that she should have been able to perform better since she is a professional chef.  I feel sorry for Nigella because her team is not an actual team this season and I really don't see any of them stepping up as a winner.  Sure they might have some good days when they won't be on the bottom but I really don't see them coming out on top.

With Ludo's group as the winner of the challenge they now have the chance to have Edward Lee mentor them for the solo part of the challenge!  He is a great chef to look up to.  http://chefedwardlee.com/bio/  The master class with Edward Lee he explained to them that Korean and Southern food is his life on a plate, there are a lot more compontents but he was keeping it narrowed down.  Chef Edward Lee maked a soup with about 8 ingredients (I rewound twice and these are the ingredients he mentions) Ham, bacon fat, apple cider vinegar, kimchi, ground peanuts, and pork rinds all combined into a soup.  Chef Lee explained that with some finesse and understanding of his two cultures he was able to fuse these two parts of his life that do not naturally blend together. After showing them his own version of the challenge he then helps them refine their recipes for the solo challenge of My Life on a Plate.  What a fantastic opportunity!

Solo challenge!  One hour!  UGH!  I think that is the single fact that makes these challenges a fear factor for me.  I can definitely make a delicious meal in less than an hour but if I was making a competition level dish I would love to have at least two hours just so I could really develop the flavors!  One hour cooking time.  Jeesh that really does up the level of a competition.  

This is how it works.  The mentors take their bite of each dish not knowing who cooked it or what they are eating.  They each must select their best dish with gold stars and the worst will get a red star then face elimination.  The judges don't even know which dish is a part of their own team.

The best in this challenge was a tie between Jeff from team Ludo and Lee from team Anthony.  The worst was Jay from team Nigella with 3 red stars and Audrey from team Marcus with one red star.  Jay went overboard in defending his dish and choice as to not include gravy.  He came off as brash, unable to take criticism and emotional.  He admitted his dish was an emotional choice that was more about his favorite last meal than about keeping a competitive spirit.  I still believe Jay is a great cook that made a bad emotionally charged choice.  Audrey's dish was a horrible combination of many different parts of her life using an array of ingredients that did not find a balance or cohesiveness.  She didn't really have a story to meld with her dish as much as she was paying homage to different parts of her life through the different ingredients she chose.  Her dish was sort of a clusterfuck of ingredients with no real direction.  I honestly feel bad that both of these cooks made the decisions they did.  They both have a similar background with their extreme weight loss.  In my opinion Audrey doesn't seem to want this for the right reasons, she is trying to promote her blog but at least she is open and upfront about it!  She did take the chef's criticism very well.  

In the end someone has to go home and that is Jay.  I think he should hold his head high.  He did well even though his food didn't make the cut. He stayed true to himself but was just out cooked when he made the mistake of not making a gravy.  If he did make a gravy then I believe he wouldn't have received a single red star and then Audrey would have gone home.  Also if he would have kept his emotional outburst low key, nodded and took the chef's critiques then he really would have still been in the competition.  

So what am I going to make?  My life of a plate.  How could you not do some soul searching with a food challenge like that?  If you like to cook and love to eat then combine that with a cooking competition called The Taste you really need to search your soul to find what meal defines you.  You need to consider the flavors, textures, and direction of the food.  Just because it is your favorite food doesn't make it an option.  You need to keep in mind that you are not cooking for yourself but for the judges to like it and keep you in the game!  For example my husband loves his asado well done but I know none of the judges would think it as cooked properly and I could lose points simply for over cooking the meat.
For me I need to choose something classic but with some spice and then a balance of something sweet and tart.  Keeping in mind I only have one hour to prep and cook I can not go for my chili and corn bread because the chili needs several hours to get all the flavors balanced.  With Chili not an option I have to dig deeper and go for my second brilliant idea.

Thanksgiving!  I would make Thanksgiving in one bite.  Okay, yes Jay went home after making a type of Thanksgiving meal.  He did it all wrong!  I would make a Garlic Roasted Turkey Breast, cornbread dressing, white wine gravy and my cranberry apple sauce.  Portioning for the single bite would be tough.  I would mold the dressing as a cake using a round cookie cutter using this as the base.  Then I would spoon a little layer of sauce on top followed by a thin slice of turkey breast and topped off with some gravy.  My cranberry sauce and the white wine gravy are my clinchers that make this bite stand out.  My sauce is a delicious combination of the tart cranberries berries, crisp granny smith apples, light brown sugar and orange juice.  When roasting my turkey I use the white wine as the liquid, I like Moscato but to make a really sweet gravy I would choose Mead(Irish Honey Wine) for the competition dish.  Then while the turkey breast is resting I whisk the drippings from the pan to pull up all the good flavors slowly adding in the flour, to thicken the sauce but remember to add salt and pepper to taste.  If needed add more broth till you get the right consistency.   At the end I would add a touch more wine just to send home all the flavors you want!  I remember the first time I used Mead in my Chicken gravy.  My nephew loved it!  It had all the sweetness of honey with a back note of the garlic from the roasted chicken inside a gravy to pour over your creamy mashed potatoes.  Yum!
My life on a plate.  I choose Thanksgiving to represent me because it is a holiday filled with warm family memories.  I am all about family!  Thanksgiving is also the only holiday that is all about the food and overindulgence.  Traditional turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce and gravy then take all of these components into a more updated feel is exactly how I feel about myself.  I am a traditionalist but I take everything to a modern level.  My childhood memories of Thanksgiving are filled with lots of cousins crowded around the kid table fighting for elbow room and I was often the one placed next to "that cousin" who stuck his elbows right out into your rib cage.  It was wonderful!
I don't have any turkey breasts or white wine right now or else I would be cooking this meal now!  The next time I have all my ingredients I promise to post my step by step instructions complete with photo's to share with you.  Until then I will be craving this meal.  

Next week's show is about Guilty Pleasures!  I am already thinking about my personal guilty pleasure.  I have been dying to try out a combination of Dulce De Leche and my Mom's Fudge recipe then adding in something to give a crunch to make this guilty pleasure balanced.  Sweet, rich, creamy, salty and crunchy.  Talk about indulgent!  

My personal rundown of this seasons teams.  

Marcus' group is a real team, I feel the love!  They support each other and boost each other up.  I think that is a smart move this early in the competition.  As far as who I think is the best from this team I have to say I need to see how it works out with Shehu and Don.  Sarah might be an executive chef but she is a little forgettable in this episode. Audrey has a powerful view point that appeals to a lot of viewers if she could only learn to harness it in this competition - she is lucky she is still in the competition.

Anthony has some great cooks on his team. I think he built a smart team but I don't see them coming together yet as a team.  The top cook from this team is a tough choice for me between Lee and Shellie.  I think Brad is good but ultimately he and Dana are a little bit forgettable.

Ludo has an awesome team of great cooks. I they will come together as a team as they get to know each other better.  The top cook from this team is 

Nigella's team.  I already said it.  They make a team of enemies.  Jay and Jacquelyn are the best from that team but unless they really grow I do not see them beating out the cooks from the other teams.  Unfortunately, Jay had to go home.  This team is already beat.  I feel sorry for Nigella because I really admire her as a Chef.   

Lucas' Awesome Preschool Program - Morris Plains Preschool

Last year was an emotional time as we prepared for the switch from Early Intervention to Public Preschool.  I had bonded with Lucas' therapists from EI.  We were in "it" together as they helped us grow from no spoken language to individual sounds to a slow building vocabulary.  I wished I could keep them forever but at the age of 3 a child is aged out of EI and then must be qualified for Special Education services through the school district.  Personally I found it to be a sucky experience whe to highlight my child's struggles instead of boast their newest accomplishments no matter how small those accomplishments seem.  Writing that letter to the state asking them to consider my child for special education was a heartbreaking moment.  As a parent you feel guilty that you cannot brag, boast and put your child in the spotlight as being so wonderfully smart and advanced and perfect.  In your heart you are so amazed with your child and just want everyone to see them as perfect as you do. Yet, your child has difficulties and they need help.  It would be so much easier to turn a blind eye and claim that your child just doesn't want to do whatever it is they struggle with.  It would be easier but then you aren't helping your child achieve their best in life.  I know some people talked behind my back saying things like "why can't she just let him be" or "she needs to stop looking for him to be perfect" and "he is just fine and will talk when he is ready".  Thankfully they never said those things to my face because I probably would have slapped them!  If you weren't in my home then you do not understand how hard it was on a day to day basis.  I worked hard with Lucas to teach him to talk before I even had him evaluated by Early Intervention.

Transferring to the school system was easier than I had feared.  The teacher was amazing!  Lucas' new speech therapist was amazing!  Having these amazing professionals comforted me as I let go of my relationship with the wonderfully supportive EI therapists. I honestly believe in the benefits of early intervention and that we wouldn't be where we are in Lucas' progress without them.  Getting that help was a type of head start that has proved to be priceless.  EI taught me how to work with Lucas and how to stop working with him so I could just enjoy my little boy. Lucas was not even two years old when he began receiving help from Early Intervention services. Now, in two more months he will be 4 years old!  EI gave him the ability to start producing sound and conveying his needs using sign language.  From there we began to get single and some double words from him.  His teachers and therapist from the school district took that progress and helped us to keep moving forward.  Part of this success is also from the opportunity of being in an inclusive classroom.  Lucas began the class shortly after he turned 3yrs old.  The class has a range of kids from 3 years old till they begin Kindergarten.  The teacher and aides know how to help him produce his language during the day and of course his speech therapist works with improving his clarity.  Transitioning to the school district has proven to be the right step for us as Lucas continues to improve.  It is amazing to watch this little boy work so hard, actually work, at learning this skill we take for granted.

I have to admit that I brag about the preschool program whenever I get the chance.  I feel I owe it to them for helping us to hear what our little boy wants to say.   Last year when he started he was beginning to put two words together and now we can often hear him say 5 words in a sentence!  Trust me, this is beyond amazing!!!  I don't care if the neighbors don't understand him or think he is much younger than he is because of his speech abilities.  I just love the fact that my child has learned to speak enough to let his personality shine through.  He is a trouble maker who loves to trick and tease but he loves to love!  My favorite thing he says (it is tough to choose) "May I rub your arm?"  What I love about this sentence is that it is a statement not a real question.  He has always needed to rub my arm.  Now, he is able to actually use his words for something that is a basic need of his.  I cherish each and every word he says to me.  Even if he stutters or has to repeat himself 10 times just so I can figure out what he is saying.  I am just loving this new stage in his development and I don't, not for one second, take it for granted that he is able to say "I love you."  I know we have a long way to go, I am the first person to remind people this, but his progress has been remarkable.  As a mother I am finally feeling like I can honestly brag and boast and shine a spotlight on my incredibly smart son.

When I get the chance to talk about the preschool program I find that many parents are surprised that it is an "inclusive" program.  It is not just for children like Lucas who have specific challenges but also for children who are typically developing with no identified special needs.  Parents in my school district have the misconception that it is just for special education kids.  The fact that the program is inclusive is one reason that makes it brag worthy.  The teachers knowledge and their ability to teach children of all abilities at the same time is amazing.

As a parent of a child with special needs I find comfort in the knowledge that Lucas is attending preschool with the same kids he will go to kindergarten with.  These kids KNOW him and so when he starts kindergarten he won't be faced with new kids who judge him based on the fact that he talks a little different.  Imagine that.  Children are the most honest people on the planet because they don't know yet how to censor their thoughts.  Lucas won't be faced by kids who see him as different because he will already have friends who do understand him.  In fact, the program is for kids started at age 3 till they start kindergarten at 5.  Since Lucas started right after his third birthday he has some friends who just started kindergarten.  This means he has friends who are two years older than him.  I really don't see him getting picked on at the playground just because he doesn't speak clearly.

How does it benefit your "typically developing" child who has not had any special needs identified to be placed in a class with children who do have varying levels of special needs?  Will your child receive an education appropriate for their development and have them ready for Kindergarten?  I am sure these are the questions you might be asking yourself.  They are logical.  First off let me explain what it means to be "inclusive".  Inclusive is a General Education classroom that includes children with special needs.  So, the typically developing child will receive the appropriate education.  The program is geared for getting all children ready for Kindergarten.  The children are treated as individuals (as they should be) to help them succeed in the curriculum.   The teachers and aides have strong backgrounds in Special Education which help them know what is age appropriate in development and how to help the child who doesn't have special needs but might be slightly struggling in a particular area.  These teachers are really well rounded experts that you should feel lucky to have teaching your child regardless of typically developing or special need.

For example: Your son's coloring projects are often just a few scribbles that are light in color and he never seems interested in holding on to a crayon.  Another preschool program teacher might just shrug their shoulders and think your child just doesn't like to color (hey most boys aren't into it!) because their scribbles are light and after a minute or two they give up the project.  In Lucas' program the teachers take a closer look into why the child doesn't seem interested in coloring.  They know the different types of crayons to try and they look at how your child's grip is on the crayon.  They test out your child's left hand!  They don't just assume because he is a boy he doesn't like to color.  They really take the time to evaluate why.  If during the process they find an easy answer they help your child as needed.  If during the process they see that your child could benefit from an Occupational Therapists evaluation they will talk to you about it and if you are in agreement they will put in the request.  If after the OT evaluates your child and see's they are fine they will give the teacher some extra instructions on how to help develop the child's coloring skills.  If the OT evaluates your child and finds that they qualify for OT services they will meet with you to have your approval to give your child therapy.  The other preschool program would have let something like this slide and then when your son entered Kindergarten his teacher would have picked up on his difficulty.  You have officially saved your child a year of hardship by having him in a program that knows how to identify troubles and get your child on a path of success.  Just so you know coloring is a precursor to handwriting so if a problem exists at this stage and gets the help it needs early then your child will have better success at handwriting.

Transition is another key element that should be considered. Your child is attending preschool at the same place they will be attending the following three years of their education.  They know the place!  There is comfort in that knowledge that will help them in the transition.  The hallways and teachers are already familiar to them.  This is a minor attribute compared to the quality of education and attention they will receive from these highly experienced teachers.

As a parent we want the best for our children.  I honestly believe having your child a part of an Inclusive Preschool Program is the best for all children, not just an advantage for the kids with some special circumstances.  Lucas has grown so much in the last 9 months of being in this preschool program.  His progress has brought tears to the eyes of everyone who knows him.  In fact this past fall I had a teary eyed moment with his speech therapist as we talked about how far he has come and how hard Lucas has worked for it.  A typically developing child with no special needs identified will receive all the benefits of a teacher who has a full understanding of developmental goals and the general education that fits with NJ standards.  An inclusive classroom is the best of both worlds for all children.

If you are lucky enough to live in my town registration for the 2014-2015 school year starts January 15 2014.  I have a link (at the bottom of the page) to the school website that gives you the contact information.
  If you are not in my district I still strongly recommend you checking out your own towns preschool program.  Look for one that uses the term inclusive.  Check out the teachers credentials.  Even a typically developing child  benefits from a great teacher at this young age.

If you are interested in Lucas' progress I plan on taking a new video of him in the next few weeks.  Lucas has a strong personality so some days he is a little ham and others he doesn't want to be bothered with performing for Mommy.

http://morrisplains.schoolwires.net/site/default.aspx?PageType=3&DomainID=4&ModuleInstanceID=1256&ViewID=047E6BE3-6D87-4130-8424-D8E4E9ED6C2A&RenderLoc=0&FlexDataID=1138&PageID=1

Putting away Christmas

I have to admit that I really love Christmas.  I think a small part of it comes from my maiden name Noel.  I find it sad that half of my family pronounces it Noll instead of No-El.  If only I knew how to type the two little dots that are supposed to be above the E to prove the pronunciation should be No-El.  Hey, to each their own I guess.
I love all parts of Christmas.  Thanksgiving is the unofficial official beginning to the holiday season and how wonderful is that, it is a big family meal.  Then we go and cut down our own Christmas Tree, the four of us wandering around a tree lot looking for the "perfect" tree.  That day is another special day.  The week following the perfect tree hunt is then filled with Christmas music and the process of decorating the house.  Do not judge a book by it's cover because the outside of our home barely shows signs of Christmas Joy!  However as soon as you take a step inside you will find mistletoe, garland, Santa's, Snowman's, Nativities, decorations depicting Baby Jesus and his family and yes the faint smell of baking!  I love to have a fire lit and Christmas music blaring as I decorate my home.  Most times I will have my roast chicken warming in the oven and candles of cinnamon and vanilla.  You cannot do much better than the smell of Christmas Tree!  It is even during this season when Leo and I celebrate our wedding anniversary.  Sure it might be cold outside and there is always a weather watch for snow but it really is the best time of the year.  Then comes the best part.  Christmas!  Christmas eve is always celebrated with Leo's family.  I love watching the joy in everyone's eyes when they open a present that I took time in picking out.  I have to admit I like receiving presents as well.  They always give me the nicest new shirts.  Leo's Dad seems to magically find the most original and amazing Pig decoration for me every year.  Of course it is always fun to watch the kids open their presents and squeal with delight when they get exactly what they wanted!  On Christmas morning Gabe wakes early with the joy of SANTA CLAUS came!  I can honestly say I believe in Santa Claus and I feel sorry for those who are not capable of believing in something so magical.  We should remember Santa was a real person, St. Nick, who gave presents to children.  My parents come over to share in our morning festivities.  Christmas morning for us is mainly a child fest of presents.  Leo and I manage to buy something for each other to open on Christmas morning but mostly it is about giving our children the joy of seeing their dreams come true.  I thank God that our church has a 12:15pm Christmas Day mass!  This gives us time to enjoy the morning, get into our Christmas best, and honor what the day is really about.  Baby Jesus was born! Santa Claus is great and fun but Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus and that with him all things are possible.   Of course it is hard to pry the kids away from their new toys and the wonders of the massive amount under the tree.  Then when we come home we settle in to play and preparing the holiday meal.  About a week after Christmas our home is still a wreck with toys everywhere but we begin to get ready for the next special occasion...New Years Eve!  I personally see a relation between the birth of Jesus and the New Year.  It is about the chance for new beginnings and that anything is possible in life.  Then to end the holiday season we celebrate The Epiphany, the arrival of the three kings who bring gifts to the new born king.  It is this event that gives a final nod to what the season is really about.

And now I have to box it all up and put it away for a little more than 10 months.  The decorations and bright lights are a beautiful daily reminder that we should all believe in the magical thought that "anything is possible".  I am not going to go into a religious diatribe because I think you "get" what I am talking about.  Christmas is beautiful and fun and magical and the best time of the year.  Still, it cannot last.  So I must put all the sparkle and shine away.  The whimsical and the holiday nicknacks wrapped up and stored for now.  It is sad to have it over.  The fact that many people see it as getting back to normal or their regular day to day routines is the hardest fact.  Yes keeping Christmas to a maximum 6 weeks a year ensures that we can keep the holiday special.  I just find it sad that during the rest of the year we struggle to remember that magical feeling because we feel the need to keep the trinkets wrapped up in storage.  We miss the heart warming emotion when we listen to our favorite Christmas song because it is somehow wrong to listen to Away in a Manger in August. As much as I love the way my house looks at Christmastime I do miss how my home looks the rest of the year.  So this becomes bittersweet.  Life will go back to normal as the decorations are stored away.  However I was born a Noel and with that I will always keep Christmas in my heart.  Sometimes I will rebel and sing a Christmas song throughout the year as is my right since Noel means Christmas.   I believe it is my prerogative as a Noel!

First post of 2014

One of my resolutions is to write more often.  Well, I had forgotten my account password and needed to unlock it before I could get started.  Then I had STUFF going on at home and just didn't have the time to sit and write because when I was able to sit I needed a chance recharge.  Now I am finally finding the right opportunity to sit and get some thoughts out.

First I think it is appropriate that I take a moment to acknowledge this deep freeze weather.  Sunny with a high of 1 degree but with the wind chill it feels like a Negative 17 degrees outside.  This is what we RSD'ers call OUCH weather!  This deep freeze causes pain for those who don't have severe chronic pain conditions.  When the temperature drops below 30 degrees I stay away from the open door as the smallest cold air blast could send me into a flare.  Today, I am doing my best to keep the house warm, a fire going and to stay out of all drafts.  That means Leo took Lucas out to the bus while I stayed about two feet away from the open door and still the cold air came flying at me!  I have my thermal socks and leg warmers on to keep out the cold chill that finds its way into my RSD limb.  I am prepared from this onslaught of cold air.  Even thought my home thermostat is set to a comfortable 70-72 degrees the freeze can find it's way into my right leg and that is why I have to stay prepared.
I am thankful that I am flare free currently but I am cautious because I do feel that general weakness in my right leg that often foreshadows a flare up.  To keep it at bay I am resting while keeping my limb active.  I cannot completely baby my leg but I do need to be gentle with it. I also need to make sure it does not get cold.  Emotional stress is another major trigger.  To keep emotional stress away I first have to first keep calm that my leg feels weak and a little chilled, if I overreact then I could emotionally allow a flare to begin.  My other tips to reduce emotional stress are taking a nap, watching tv to relax the brain and cooking so I have something I can control.  Sometimes some light cleaning can help me control emotional stress but mostly that chore brings too much physical stress on my limb.  There is no real rhyme or reason to why a flare up starts but from experience my worst flares come during the winter months.  Many times I take these same precautions and I will still end up in a flare.  I have too many years under my belt but they help me understand my RSD triggers.  Hopefully my personal experience can help others who are in the early years of their RSD.

Okay so now on to some fun stuff!  My New Years Resolutions!  Besides trying to keep up with my writing I have a long list of things I am resolving to improve on throughout the year.  I am not going to reveal all of my resolutions...come on some stuff has to stay private!  Besides writing in my blog more often I have resolved to up my cooking repertoire.  A few months ago I was watching Master Chef Junior with my son Gabe.  I know he has me held high on a pedestal but I was still shocked when he suggested that I enter the adults version of the cooking show, "Because you are a really good cook Mommy and I think you could win!"  I told him that I am no where near that higher level of expertise.  He insisted in that sweet way a loving child can and so I made him a promise that I would try to learn to cook at that higher level.  I am going to hold myself to that promise.  However I have been racking my head as to WHAT recipes I am going to learn to make!  One thing I would love to learn is homemade pasta but I need a pasta machine to make the noodles.  I would love to make an elegant meal three course meal.  I know I will need to face my fear of boning a fish...it's the head and eyes that freak me out!  I also would like to learn to make more desserts.  Of course it isn't about cooking something once or twice but frequently enough with tweaks along the way to make it your own.  I like to make comfort food, rustic dishes and classic family dinners.  I am open to suggestions!!!  A few meals I am known for (in my close circle) are my Macaroni and Cheese, Shepherd's Pie, Roast Chicken with gravy, Braised Pork shoulder, brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce, Bread, Baked Ziti, Chicken Enchilada's and a other dishes.  The types of meals I make have to accommodate the mouths I feed.  Lucas isn't too much of a picky eater as he loves green veggies, pasta and parmesan cheese but he isn't too fond of meats.  Gabe is more of a picky eater he isn't too fond of green veggies or different looking foods basically he likes his meals straight forward and basic - but he has promised to TRY everything I make as he is the source behind my attempts at increasing my cooking abilities.  Leo used to be a picky eater but ever since he met me his waist line has grown because he enjoys eating what I make for him!  Leo used to be a skinny but athletically so man and now he still has his athletic build but isn't so skinny any more.  Last year I even had the opportunity to eavesdrop (accidentally) on his conversation with someone where he was bragging about his wife's cooking and how he used to be 15 pounds thinner before we met.  What an ego boost!

Another resolution I will share with you is one that I pray I can hold on to.  In the past few years I have not been able to make it to church on a regular basis.  Heck I have only gone to church a few times in the past year.  My resolution is to get back to church weekly.  No, I was not able to make it last Sunday because of the freezing rain.  I feel better, in spirit and in mind when I do make it to church weekly.  When considering my Resolutions list I took into consideration about what the focus is for.  My focus is for self improvement as most people's resolutions are.  Weight loss or physical fitness are great goals but I think if they begin to be a recurring theme on your resolutions list then you need to stop placing them there.  This year I decided to get closer to the core of what I want to improve on myself.  I am a very spiritual person and even though I haven't been to church as much as I would have liked I still pray daily and practice my faith.  Still, I miss the connection I get when attending mass.  I really like my church, Notre Dame of Mount Carmel.  I feel that attending church weekly is a more honorable resolution that dropping a few pounds.  I still want to drop a few pounds but that doesn't need to be on my resolutions list in order for me to hold myself to it.  Attending church regularly has more personal meaning and I like that fact that I am holding myself responsible for this act by including it on my New Years Resolutions list.

So there you have it!  Three of my New Years Resolutions.  I hope 2014 finds you and your family with a happier and healthier year than it was last year.