As parents we all do it. We wait for that moment when our baby talks to us. It is often the dream during pregnancy and question of "Will they say Mama or Dada or something else first?" Grandparents kiss the baby and quietly repeat "Say Nana" in hopes that they can beat out the Mom. It is this loving and typical play that fills much of the babies first year of life.
When I had Gabriel we all enjoyed these precious milestones. The first smile, coo, and the babbled mama. I remember looking into his face and him mimicking my oos and aas and my mouth forming a round circle. The joy of hearing the repeated mamamamamama or dadadadada and being convinced he was calling me! Our family story has always been "Once Gabe started talking he wouldn't stop. He even talked in his sleep!" Yes, we had to turn off the baby monitor in his room because he talked in his sleep.
Lucas
They always say "don't compair your children". They are right unfortunately we only had Gabe and his rapid speech to use as a guideline. So when Lucas was 12 months old and still did not say mama I was worried. I was told to "wait", "boys tend to talk later than girls" and to "remember that Gabe was an early talker". At 15 months I heard "mama" once and "dada" a handful of times. I was told "It's coming!" At 18 months I was told that if we didn't have a handful of words by his 24 month appointment then we could start evaluating but still we shouldn't worry because he was hitting his gross motor milestones (on the late side but still within range.)
Mothers instinct told me different. Something was wrong. I read what I could find on reasons for late talking or no talking. What I found was information on Autism. He didn't have all or most of the red flags for autism but once that was in my head I couldn't dislodge it.
What most people didn't understand was that he wasn't even babbling. When I seriously sat down to think about what sounds he was making I realized that besides screaming at me he only made ooo and aaa sounds, basically he coo'd or screamed. He would take me by the hand to lead me to what he wanted. If he wanted a banana I would say "Oh you want a banana. This is a banana. Lucas wants a banana. Say Banana." The screaming would begin. I would endure and repeat "Say Banana. Lucas wants a Banana." I didn't care if he called it a mama, I wanted him to TRY but all I received back was more screaming.
Many nights I went to bed feeling frusterated and exhausted. It is stressful to spend your day having a toddler scream at you for their every want. I felt like a horrible mother because I was stressed out over spending time with my child! When I tried to vent to family or friends they didn't get it because they never spent a serious amount of time with him - or they thought I was being to harsh because "Sometimes kids don't talk till they are 3 years old!"
Enough!!
One day I had enough. I talked it out with my husband and told him what I read. He didn't want to hear any of it. His child was perfect and I wasn't a doctor, in fact our pediatrician said to just wait and see! Soon though he agreed to let me just have him evaluated and to see what comes from it. The next day I called our pediatrician and he said that we could have Lucas checked out with the Speech - Language Lab at the hospital. I called and they told me about the 3-6month wait list. Wait list? I told them I didn't want to wait that long and I was told about Early Intervention. I called my pediatrician back and he said "Go for it."
Early Intervention (EI). EI is a birth till Three years old goverment program to help children with significant developmental delays. EI is provided under part C of IDEA - Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.
As scared as I was EI made the process easy. They first evaluated him - basically played with him in ways to elicit sounds and to see what he was able to do. They talked to Leo and I about a typical day and asked "Besides what sounds he made today for us are there any other sounds he makes?" Okay, yes I asked them to come in because I am worried about Lucas not talking but when I was asked this question I thought it odd. What sounds he makes? What other sounds he makes? Did he even make a sound during this last hour? "No, he doesn't make sound attempts he just coo's or screams."
Yes we qualified for services. We were also told to have his hearing tested because of concerns that he didn't always turn to my voice. We were to receive 2 one hour sessions a week with a developmental interventionist and 1 one hour session with a speech language pathologist (SLP). Our world had changed before Lucas was 2 years old.
Going in depth about our therapy history will be a different post. The biggest question everyone asks is that "Now, a year later, have we seen significant progress?" YES! I have learned so much about Lucas during this past year. In September we received an extra weekly session with his SLP to focus even more on his speech. When you understand how HARD Lucas works and where he was at one year ago then you will understand that YES he has made significant progress and is still very far behind. In March 2013 Lucas will turn 3 years old and he currently has the language of an almost 2 year old but the clarity of his speech is still severely behind. What does than mean?
Milestones:
Parenting Magazine is a great place to understand developmental milestones. This is an article that properly talks about speech and language milestones. http://www.parenting.com/article/baby-speech-milestones?page=0,0 Lucas is currently somewhere between this 18-24month age range in his language. Someone close to him, and with a patient ear, will be able to understand his speech. He is just beginning to put two words together although this compromises his clarity even more so.
"18 to 22 months
Da-me-fo-bee.
You know your toddler is saying something amazing--if only you could understand it. In their second year, kids become masters of nonsensical speech, producing strings of elegant gibberish that sound like a faux version of adult conversation (often complete with inflection and hand gestures). She'll also be saying around 30 or so real words-but even those may not be crystal clear.
22 to 24 months
More milk.
By the time she turns 2, your toddler will likely be able to string two or three words together to make mini-sentences. A favorite to throw into the mix of the dozens of words in her growing vocabulary: "more." It's a sign that your kid is figuring out the ability of language to make things happen."
What is next?
IDEA part C ends when Lucas turns 3 years old. Then we will use services provided by IDEA part B and this will stay with him till age 21! This law basically makes it so that he MUST have access to help in Public School (as long as he qualifies).
We are in the middle of the process of being qualified for school services. My first step was made when I wrote a letter to the superintendent of the school district asking for help because I believe my child has special needs. OUCH! I don't think of Lucas as special needs, just special but this was the letter I had to write because at the core of his problem is that he does have special needs that a regular pre-school cannot provide him. Basically I have to get over that feeling of hurt the phrase "special needs" carries. The second step is to have him evaluated and work through the meetings. Then we have a meeting to discuss his IEP - Individual Education Plan.
Currently I have a long list of words Lucas says, words that are approximations, and sign language that he uses to help his communication. Daily I reinforce what we learn in therapy. I dream that one day he will be able to tell me a story even half as well as Gabriel. Until then? I enjoy each new sound and word like the first time I heard him say "Mommy".
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