Why Me?

I often struggle to explain to others the reason I do not have a "Why Me?" attitude about having RSD.  Some people believe it is an expected reaction to having something terribly wrong with your health.  I know a lot of RSD'ers who do fight with this notion.  I once tried explaining that I rely on my faith.  I am a Catholic.  I trust in God.  My attitude towards my disease seems confusing to others.  I have the "My cup is half full" positive attitude.  Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of days when my optimism is shaky and I do not feel strong.  Those days of weakness can sneak up on me.  They are usually a result of a long winded flair, my RSD anniversary, or the weeks leading up to surgery.  During these times I hold on tightly to my faith.  There is one song from my childhood years in my Church choir that help sum up where I get this strong hold of faith from. 

I grew up singing this song every Easter, it is a song I knew by heart.  My first year with RSD was a very difficult time.  I was depressed, overwhelmed with pain, and felt alone.   Suddenly this song struck home.  I understood it with a more personal experience and hightened emotion.  I cried. 


Ten Thousand Angels  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6O_aajx5cQ 
They bound the hands of Jesus in the garden where He prayed;
They led Him thro' the streets in shame.
They spat upon the Savior so pure and free from sin;
They said, "Crucify Him; He's to blame."

He could have called ten thousand angels
To destroy the world and set Him free.
He could have called ten thousand angels,
But He died alone, for you and me.

To the howling mob He yielded; He did not for mercy cry.
The cross of shame He took alone.
And when He cried, "It's finished," He gave Himself to die;
Salvation's wondrous plan was done.

He could have called ten thousand angels
To destroy the world and set Him free.
He could have called ten thousand angels,
But He died alone, for you and me.


This song reminds me about the core of my faith. That God allowed Jesus to bear the cross and to die. God could have saved his Son, he could have called Ten Thousand Angels. Why me?   Having faith in God, understanding the message in Easter and in this song I understood. It is not about me.  It is about something greater than me or my own human understanding.   In life we all have our own cross to bear and if you pay attention you will see that you too have people who will help you carry it, wash your face when you are down trodden, and who will walk beside you to ease the way. Still, it is your cross to bear just as Jesus did with his. God could have saved Jesus just as he could perform a miracle and save us all. This is where I gather my strength and conviction.  My faith. 

I hope you clicked the You Tube link and listened to the song.  It is a real beautiful hymn.  You tube has a long list of other variations of the song, they are all good including the Loretta Lynn version if you like classic country music! :)